so spending alot of time with my mind always leads to outlook changing self diagnoses of potential psychological problems. i dislike realizing my problems because alot of the time they are directly related to my insecurities and for the most part, are outside my control. i also dislike not being able to control my own insecurities, problems, life, etc. i noticed yesterday that i tend to notice alll the little things, i tend to search for meanings in everything. it might be paranoia(stemming from copious amts. of smoking by myself)but thinking about shit like this all day and not talking about it makes me crazy. at least i can think outloud via L'internets. but ill try not taking everything so srsly, even though i hardly think im serious.